You don't have nothing but pride
by Spiderwebs11
Summary: Okay I still can't think of a new name so if you have any ideas please let me know. 3 challenges in one including the Halloween challenge! How festive
1. Did you miss me?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything they all belong to J. K. Rowling she was just kind enough to lend them to me for a while and I promise to return them in good condition in time for the 6th book. Title is from a song by Amy Studt which has nothing to do with the story I just happened to be listening to it at the time.  
  
Summery: Based on three separate challenges I found on WIKTT. The challenges are the Twin Challenge, Halloween Challenge and the Fancy Dress Challenge. I was just looking through them deciding which to do 1st when I realised how well they fit together. I have left out or altered a few things in the challenges to get them to fit together. Two of the challenges are very late to say the least but I will do my best to update as often as possible. I apologise for the slow start but it is only the 1st chapter and I'm trying to consider all characters points of view and the situation at the time. Takes place in Harry's 7th year. Voldemort is still hovering round (damn it won't he just die already). SS/HG  
  
New and improved chapters people ;). I have a beta yay.

Chapter 1:  
  
Out of the darkness loomed the many towers of Hogwarts castle Many of its windows lit, shimmering in the light rain. At least a hundred horseless (are so it many have seemed) conveyances jingled their way up the long, sloping drive towards the castle. The occupants of these carriages hurrying up the stone steps through the large oak doors into a cavernous Entrance Hall ablaze with many torches. Footsteps reverberated around the hall as the students made their way through a set of doors on their right, leading to the Great Hall and the start of term feast. Thousands of candles floated in mid air illuminating the four house tables, which were beginning to fill up under the enchanted ceiling mirroring the sky outside. Tonight ink stained clouds covered most of the stars from view. Dotted amongst the sea of black hats shone several pearly white, semi-transparent ghosts. Harry, Ron and Hermione made their way through the swarm of students and took their seats alongside their fellow Gryffindor housemates.

"Hey Harry," came the cheerful greeting of Neville Longbottom. "Nice summer?"

"Yeah, not bad thanks," Harry answered truthfully having spent his summer at the Weasleys with Ron and Hermione.

Since the death of his godfather, Sirius, in his fifth year, Mrs Weasley thought it best he spent as little time with the Dursleys or at Grimmauld Place as possible for which he was extremely grateful. Despite this, he still found it difficult to prevent himself from dwelling, while lying awake at night, of that evening in Dumbledore's office just over a year ago. Although, he still felt none-the-wiser about how to kill the darkest wizard of the age, his determination to protect the people he cared about most had certainly grown. His fifth year wasn't something he'd ever let happen again. Harry was a great deal more cautious and self-controlled as a result of Sirius's death. This was evident in Harry's continuation of occlumency lessons with Dumbledore and not having as many angry, bitter outbursts as the year before. Not that this meant he had turned over a new leaf completely. There was still plenty of trouble to be made around the castle much to the annoyance of a certain Potions Master, Professor Snape. Harry's most hated teacher, rivalled only by Professor Snape's loathing of Harry and maybe the schools general feelings of hatred towards Umbridge their ex-Defence against the Dark Arts teacher.

"Hang on, who's missing?" asked Ron. Harry followed his gaze up to the staff table where there were two empty chairs. One he assumed was for their seventh Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. None of their Dark Arts Professors had lasted more than a year during the time that they had attended Hogwarts.

"Well, one must be for our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and I can't see Professor Vector so the second chair is most likely hers," Hermione answered.

The chattering of the students died down as Professor McGonagall led the first years to the three legged stool in front of the staff table where an old, heavily patched and frayed hat was placed to sort them into one of the four houses; Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Gryffindor.  
  
(A.N. Well I'm not very good at writing things like this, so no sorting hat song for now, I'll leave it to your imagination but if you request it I will add it at a later date)  
  
After the applause had died down for 'Webb, Nadine' (Ravenclaw) Professor Dumbledore rose to present the start of term notices.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, I will make this very brief. I would like to remind you that the Dark forest is out of bounds to all pupils. Quidditch trials begin at the start of next week. Anyone wishing to join should report to his or her Head of House. Now tuck in."

Harry and Ron started eating everything is sight with great enthusiasm, Hermione rolling her eyes at their table manners. The Hall echoed with the noise of the students as they greeted friends from other houses and talked excitedly about their holidays.  
Suddenly the doors to the Great Hall opened and the sound of the students' voices faded as every one turned to see who the late arrival was. Two figures dressed entirely in black made their way towards the staff table closely followed by the muttering and curious comments of the students. One, a man wearing a cloak with its hood pulled up putting his face into shadow, the other a woman, dressed identically except for a knee length skirt instead of trousers.

After exchanging brief words with Dumbledore which, despite their best efforts, none of the students heard, the two strangers continued down the table and paused in front of Professor Snape.

"Hello big brother, did you miss me?" inquired their male guest as he lowered his hood to reveal the Potions Masters identical twin, grinning from ear to ear at the look of shock on his brothers' face.

'Brother!'

'_He_ has a brother?'

A great deal of chattering had broken out amongst the students. People were looking at each other and then back at the staff table as though not quite believing what they were seeing.

"Artemis," muttered Professor Snape recovering quickly.

"Don't call me that, it's Samuel and ..." his brother began but he was cut off by Professor Snape.

"Modesty as well, how nice."

"How did you know?" laughed the woman as she removed her cloak revealing her dark waist length hair and jet black eyes identical to those of Severus and Samuel.

"Are you suggesting that I would have forgotten my own sister?"

"Not for the want of trying I'll bet," mumbled Samuel in an undertone.

"Who else would it have been?' Severus continued, raising a questioning eyebrow causing Modesty to laugh again as she took her seat between Severus and Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore rose to his feet once more to address the students. "As you may have guessed we have two new changes in staff this year," beamed the Headmaster. "I would like to introduce you to Professor Snape," he pointed to Samuel. "Our new Arithmancy teacher and yet another Professor Snape our new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor," this time he gestured towards Modesty.

The students gave a belated, slightly confused applause before continuing with the feast, talking with much interest about all three Professor Snapes.

"Bloody hell, three Snapes, three!" exclaimed Ron.

"Looks like our chance at winning the House Cup for the seventh year running have dropped to less than zero," Harry grimly sighed.

"Don't be ridiculous," Hermione snapped.

"Hermione, they're identical," Ron cried, looking at her as if she were utterly mad.

Hermione glared at him but didn't say anything. She was too tired to argue right now.

When the feast had finished and Dumbledore had dismissed them, the students ambled in the direction of their dormitories. Once there Harry and Ron gave a faint 'Good night' to Hermione before disappearing up the boys' staircase. Hermione climbed the stairs to the seventh year girls' dormitory. Too sleepy to do much more than change into her nightclothes and crawl under the covers.

'Three Professor Snapes, very interesting indeed. I had always expected him to be an only child,' she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

A.N.

Artemis Samuel Snape - Artemis is the Greek Goddess of hunting and the second name of the author of Fantastic Beasts. Griselda Marchbanks (OotP) is from a pseudonym Samuel Marchbanks. 'Samuel Marchbanks' is the name used by Robertson Davies who writes combining magic and academic life. I wanted Severus and his brother to have the same initials but didn't think Samuel was a very wizard-sounding name.

Modesty Catriona Snape – The name Modesty I found in QTtA. It's the 1st name of Madam Rabnott who was against the use of the Golden Snidget in Quiditch. Her middle name is from the Pride of Portrees most famous chaser Catriona McCormack.


	2. I know something you don't know

A.N

Okay I'm trying to make it clear which Professor Snape is being referred to but if I don't then I apologise. Thanks to my lovely reviewers I promise to try and update as regularly as I can but don't worry if I take a while. I'm looking for a new job and I'm starting my 3rd year at college. What ever happens, I won't abandon the story. It will be finished. The usual disclaimers still apply.

Chapter 2:

"Excellent five points to Gryffindor," Modesty grinned, obviously impressed, at Hermione who had sat at the back of the class at the insistence of Harry and Ron who wanted to draw as little attention to themselves as possible from their new teacher.

"Told you," Hermione whispered complacently.

"Told me what?" asked Ron.

"That you shouldn't jump to conclusions just because she's related to Professor Snape," she answered.

"It was only five points," said Ron.

"She has a point though," admitted Harry. "When was the last time Snape gave Hermione points for answering a question correctly?"

"Erm, let me think. Never," snorted Ron, slouching further down into his chair. "I suppose compared to most of the teachers we've had she's not bad."

Hermione rolled her eyes in irritation. "Not bad! Ron she's an absolutely amazing teacher."

Ron simply shrugged and continued listening to Professor Snape.

"Right well, I think we've made a brilliant start today," beamed Modesty as she turned back to look at the class. "Your homework is to read chapters one and two and prepare a short presentation which you will give to the rest of the class next lesson. Class dismissed."

Harry, Ron and Hermione filed out of the classroom with the rest of their Defence Against the Dark Arts class, down the marble staircase and across the flagged stone floor into the Great Hall for lunch.

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"I can teach you how to ..."

"... Bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper in death," finished Samuel giving a fake yawn. "Oh I'm just so exited aren't you?"

A few members of the class gave a nervous laugh but stopped quickly at the look on their Potion Masters face. Samuel however was still smiling placidly in the doorway of their dungeon classroom.

Severus rolled his eyes internally and counted to ten before asking "Don't you have a class to teach?"

"Not till next period," Samuel replied.

"Well is there something you wanted aside from infuriating me and distracting my first years?" inquired Severus.

"As a matter of fact there is," Samuel moved into the classroom and over to stand by his brother.

"Well?" snapped Severus. "I haven't got all day."

"It's something I much rather not discuss in front of the students if you don't mind," he said calmly.

This time Severus did roll his eyes. "Not again?"

"Hey I never said ..." began Samuel in his most innocent sounding voice.

"Look do you want the potion brewed or not?" Severus hissed, quickly losing his patience.

"Thank you Sev, knew I could count on you. I'll see you at lunch," he winked at the students before hurrying out of classroom just in case Severus refused to do the potion and lost his temper completely with him for calling him Sev.

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"Wow she's a fantastic teacher, Professor Snape, isn't she," complimented Neville when they had taken their seats at the Gryffindor table.

"Yeah not bad looking either, for a Snape," laughed Seamus glancing at the staff table to see if she was there.

"Oh for goodness sake," cried Hermione.

"What?" asked Ron. "He's right she is."

"There are more important this than whether a person is good looking. Look at Professor Lockhart," she said pointedly.

Harry stopped Ron's retort about Lockhart with a sharp kick his shin.

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"Afternoon Severus," Samuel greeted his brother as he took his seat to the right of Severus and started on his food. He glanced up at the ceiling. The sun made a futile attempt at breaking through the ashen clouds; the weather hadn't improved much since the evening before.

Severus glared in response apparently still annoyed at his brother's appearance in his class.

"You're not mad at me are you?" his brother asked mock reproachfully, not really bothered. He was to use to his brothers bad moods to be greatly perturbed at the look Severus was now giving him.

"No more than usual," he replied icily.

"Oh come on Severus, it's not like I asked for them to come looking for me," sighed Samuel dropping his fork in exasperation.

Severus raised a sarcastic eyebrow. "No of course you didn't. Do you really expect me to believe that anyone would go looking for you?"

"Yes I do expect you to believe me since it's the truth and you are my brother," came Samuel's angry reply.

"The truth? Well that will make a first. At least I know why you're here now," his voice dangerously quiet.

"Hey we all make mistakes. You of all people should know that and this time I am telling you the truth," Samuel bit back as he picked his fork back up and continued to eat.

Severus studied his brother for a moment before turning back to his plate. "I hope so because if I find out ..."

"I am," Samuel whispered firmly.

At that moment Modesty arrived and they abandoned their discussion, not wanting their argument to upset their sister.

"Interesting day?" asked Samuel his appearance changing at once as he gave his little sister a warm smile.

"Yes actually. They're not as far behind as I thought they might be after all the changes of staff," she slid into the same seat she had occupied the previous night. "Their knowledge was most impressive, particularly Hermione Granger's."

"Who?"

"Over there, next to the red head and the boy with dark hair and glasses," she pointed over to the Gryffindor table where Hermione was sitting with Harry and Ron eating lunch. "She's in your class as well isn't she Severus?"

"Unfortunately," he answered shortly not bothering to look over at where Hermione was sitting.

"What's wrong with her," Samuel looked curiously at his brother. "She's young, attractive and, according to Modesty, very smart. Sounds like my kind of girl."

"You are not to go anywhere near Miss Granger is that understood?" Severus scowled at his brother.

"That won't be very easy considering she's in his class Sev," Modesty joked.

"Besides why not? There's no rule against it is there?" Samuel asked pleased to have found something new to aggravate his brother with.

"Miss Granger may be intelligent but as a Gryffindor she is still highly capable of getting her self into messy situations along with her friends Potter and Weasley. While some teachers let their emotions cloud their judgement and allow such behaviour to continue I refuse to give them the same amount of licence. As for why not I can assure you that Miss Granger is smart enough to see through your _charm _soI wouldn't waste my time embarrassing myself if I were you."

"Whatever you say," said Samuel as he and Modesty exchange a smile, unseen by Severus as he watched Hermione out of the corner of his eye for a moment before leaving the Hall to prepare for his next lesson.


	3. The drama queen has a plan

'Just one more lesson,' Severus told himself as he began setting up the classroom for his last lesson of the day. 'Then I finally have some peace and quiet from those damn students.'

Of course it wasn't just any lesson. It was possible the most troublesome lesson of the week, seventh year potions with Gryffindor and Slytherin. True the number of potions accidents had reduced considerable due to the fact that only the best students were admitted at this level. This meant that he had finally gotten rid of Longbottom who, despite doing much better than anticipated in his O.W.Ls didn't achieve the grade required. However he still could not fathom how both Potter and Weasley had managed to achieve the O.W.Ls necessary to progress to his advanced class or indeed why they had wanted to. He suspected it had something to do with their ambition of becoming Aurors.

"I'm here. Straight after break as you requested?" came Samuel's voice from the doorway.

Severus didn't look up. "It's in my office," he said as he placed a jar of powdered Graphorn, from his private stores, on the front desk.

Samuel followed his brother through to his office. Whilst Severus was busy looking through his cupboard, where he stocked various potions. Samuel decided to have a little look around the office see if his brother was doing anything remotely interesting for a change. He went over to the workbench on the right side of the room where there was a cauldron issuing a faint amount of steam from underneath it's lid.

BOOM

Severus whirled around quickly to see his brother covered from top to bottom in the cauldrons contents. "Lucky for you it was only a Wit-Sharpening potion. Something you obviously need. I thought by now that even you would have the intelligence necessary to realise taking the lid off an unknown potion is a very bad idea."

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Enter."

"Professor Snape I ... oh ... er ... is this a bad time?" she asked trying to suppress a smile at the sight of Samuel who was still covered in the potion.

"No it's all right Miss Granger. Don't mind my brother he's just making a fool out of himself, again," Severus sighed.

"Just entertaining my brother with my many amusing gags Hermione." He winked at her. "What do you think?"

"Ah it's the yeti," she said sarcastically, giving him a slightly patronising look before giving him a genuine smile. "I see what you mean," she added, this time turning to speak to Severus.

Samuel cleaned himself with a flick of his wand.

"Can I help you with something?" Severus coolly asked.

"Professor McGonagall asked me to give you this," she said, handing Severus the piece of parchment she held in her hand.

"Thank you. You had better go to the classroom and set up. I'll be through in a moment."

Samuel watched as Hermione nodded and exited his office. "Polite and a good sense of humour, you sure you don't like her?"

"I assure you I have no more feelings towards her, than I do any other student in this school," he responded, returning to searching his potions store cupboard.

"If you're sure then," he told Severus although his tone made it clear that he wasn't convinced.

Severus ignored him and pulled out a bottle containing a green solution, which Severus handed to his brother. "One dose after every meal till healing is complete."

"Thank you very much. You're a lifesaver," Samuel replied gratefully as he retreated from the office.

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Harry, Ron and Hermione were on their way back up the castle for lunch after their Care of Magical Creatures lesson when they were stopped by a familiar sounding voice. "Miss Granger just the person I wanted to talk to."

The trio turned their heads to see Samuel a little way in front of them. They had been so immersed in their discussion of the lesson that they hadn't spotted him.

"Would you do me the great pleasure of accompanying me for a walk on the grounds?" he asked.

Hermione looked slightly surprised but politely accepted his invitation. "Of course Professor. I'll see you both later," she added to Harry and Ron who turned and disappeared up the stone steps and into the castle.

They set off together in the direction of the forbidden forest. "I was just wondering if you'd be interested in helping out with a plan of mine." Samuel gave her a hopeful look.

"That would depend. What is this plan of yours?" she asked slightly suspiciously.

"I'm glad you asked Hermione. You don't mind me calling you that do you?"

"It's my name," she shrugged.

"Well it involves my dear brother Severus. He's been terribly cranky since I arrived," he started but paused and smiled at the look on Hermione's face. "Well more so than usual."

"He doesn't seem any different in class," she said.

"That's because it's me he's upset with," laughed Samuel.

"Well I don't see how I can help you. If you haven't heard I'm not exactly one of his favourite people," she looked at him doubtfully pushing a strand of hair from the front of her face.

They were now walking toward the paddocks next to the forbidden forest, which was thankfully providing them with a little more shelter from the cold wind, where Hermione had first been introduced to Hippogriffs in her third year.

"I'm sure that's not true," he told her, his eyes twinkling.

She looked at him quizzically but Samuel seemed not to notice as he leant casually against the fence. "Hermione I ... oumpphhhh."

There was a streak of silver and without warning Samuel was sent flying into the air with great force. Landing in a crumpled heap a few metres away. Hermione rushed to help her Professor at once. "Professor, are you badly hurt?"

"What was that?" he groaned pulling himself up into sitting position and rubbing his lower back.

"A unicorn. Hagrid must have caught it for one of his other classes and, well, they're not very trusting of males," she looked at him with concern. "Perhaps you should go to the hospital wing."

"Sure. Do you mind giving me a hand?"

Hermione helped pull him to his feet and they set off to the hospital wing. They had barely walked through the entrance to the castle when Severus appeared at the top of the stairs that led to the dungeons. "What happened?"

"Got too close to a unicorn," Hermione explained.

A look of amusement crossed her Potions Masters face. "Oh dear another accident Artemis," Severus mocked.

"Great Merlin's underpants save me," Samuel gave an exaggerated whimper ruined slightly by the spark in his eyes as he tried to suppress a smile.

"Is he always like this?" Hermione asked Severus.

"Oh no. He's usually much worse. Ever the drama queen, aren't you Artemis?" He gave his brother a patronising look.

"Will you please stop calling me that," frowned Samuel. "Now are you going to help me to the hospital wing or leave poor Hermione here to drag me up there all by herself."

Severus rolled him eyes but decided to help anyway. He took hold of his brothers other arm and steered him in the direction of the infirmary.

A.N.

Just what is Samuel's ingenious plan and why did he need a healing potion? I'll let you all know as soon as I've found out. Sorry not much happened in this chapter. I'm building up for future chapters which will be posted the minute I have finished writing them. Again thank you to my reviewers I'm incredibly grateful for all your comments and help.


	4. And you thought the Weasley twins were b...

Chapter 4

"You're lucky there's no internal damage. Just a small bruise on your back."

They had arrived at the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey had just finished checking Samuel for broken bones or internal wounds. Samuel was sitting on one of the beds, facing Hermione and Severus, rubbing his sore back.

"Small," cried Samuel. "Are you kidding?"

"Don't make such a fuss," snapped Madam Pomfrey. "If you don't mind I have other patients that need tending to."

Hermione watched as Samuel gingerly got to his feet and glowered at Severus, who was smirking with great amusement at what had happened to his brother.

"Miss Granger I'll walk you to your next class." He was looking at his brother as he said this. "Since you're in too much pain to do it yourself Artemis."

Samuel threw his brother another dirty look in reply. But Severus had already turned and started towards the door. Hermione followed him out into the corridor.

Once out of the Hospital Wing Severus waited until he was sure they were alone before asking, "Why were you and my brother alone, near the paddocks Miss Granger?"

"What?" Hermione blurted out in surprise. What was it to Severus if she was talking with her teacher? "Oh, he wanted to talk to me about something."

Severus noticed she was deliberately trying not to look at him as she told him this. He studied her for a moment before continuing, "Just what is it that my brother wanted to talk to you about?"

"You," she answered quietly, staring at her feet.

Severus stopped walking and looked at her, his brow furrowed in curiosity. "Me?"

"He was under the impression that you were unhappy with him for some reason," she rushed to explain. "He wanted my help with ... well I don't know because he didn't get a chance to finish before the unicorn butted him."

Severus kept his face impassive as she explained this. When she had finished he nodded and resumed walking in silence until they arrived outside the transfiguration classroom. She thanked him and disappeared inside with the rest of her classmates. Severus made his way back down to the dungeons for his next class.

'I can't believe this,' he seethed. 'Don't think I don't know what you are up to Samuel. I will get you back for this.'

Severus continued down to the dungeons thinking murderous thoughts, his black robes swirling slightly behind him.

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"What on earth did you think you were doing?" bellowed Severus.

"Tidying up my notes after my lesson." Samuel looked at his brother, confused as to why his brother would be mad about that.

"Not now," said Severus impatiently. "I'm talking about your earlier conversation with Granger."

Samuel looked up guiltily. "Ah, that. Look I'm sorry but I know you like her, I was only trying to help."

"We've been through this before ..." growled Severus.

"You might be able to trick your self into believing that you aren't attracted to Hermione but you can't fool me," Samuel interrupted. Giving his brother a meaningful look he added, "Call it a twin thing if you will but I know I'm right."

With that Samuel swept from the room in an uncanny impersonation of Severus.

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Hermione felt relieved; lessons had finally finished for the day. She'd found it hard to focus on her friends' conversation during the rest of their classes due to her thoughts continually drifting back towards her earlier conversation with her Arithmancy Professor. What plan could he have that could possible involve her and making his brother happy. She also wondered if he would be mad about her telling his brother about it.

'Well there's not much I could have done about it. He would have known if I was lying,' she thought. 'I know I'll go and apologise, he'll understand.'

She set of in the direction of his classroom he should have finished teaching now. However, when she arrived at the classroom she heard voices.

'Never mind I'll just wait here until his class is over.'

She slid down the wall into sitting position out side the classroom to wait for the students to be dismissed. All of a sudden she distinctly heard her own name coming from inside.

"I'm talking about your earlier conversation with Granger."

Hermione instinctively peered round the door to see who had said her name. She saw Samuel tidying away his notes, guilt written all over his face, looking at Severus, who was now staring daggers at Samuel.

'Why is he so strung up about me talking to his brother,' Hermione asked herself. 'Fair enough he's mad about his brother formulating God knows what plans but he seemed irritated by that before I told him about our conversation,' she idly thought.

"Ah, that. Look I'm sorry but I know you like her, I was only trying to help."

'What?' her brain screamed internally. 'No way, this is a joke.'

She pushed the idea out of her head and tried to catch the rest of what they were saying.

"You might be able to trick yourself into believing that you aren't attracted to Hermione but you can't fool me," Samuel interrupted, giving his brother a meaningful look he added, "Call it a twin thing if you will but I know I'm right."

Hermione saw Samuel walking towards the door to leave the classroom. She quickly and quietly stood up and sprinted to the end of the hall and around the corner, just as Samuel exited the room. She heard his foot steps go in the opposite direction. After they had faded away she chanced a glance around the corner. She saw Severus emerge through the door; a strange look on his face that Hermione couldn't read. Hermione silently made her way to Gryffindor tower and slipped up to the seventh year girls' room. Once she had shut herself in her empty dormitory she flopped onto the bed and lay still for a minute. Looking up she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

"And you thought the Weasley twins were bad," she muttered at her reflection.

She sat up on her bed looking around the room as though the answers might be concealed somewhere.

'There was no way that he could possibly be attracted to me. His brother is way of the mark on this one. It's a ridiculous idea,' she scoffed.

'What if it is?' asked the sly voice in the back of her mind.

'It couldn't be true, it just couldn't,' she told the voice firmly.

"Could it?" she asked, still staring at her reflection.

A.N.

I'm a lot happier with this chapter, a bit more action hehe. Thank you soooooo much Emily for helping with this chapter. You're a star! I'm hoping to get started on the other two challenges in the next chapter. I'll post them as soon as I can. I'm also looking for a new name for the story. This one sucks and has nothing to do with the story.


	5. Preferably something that frightens you

Chapter 5

Thursday morning meant Charms. Hermione sat, eyes unfocused, with Harry and Ron who, for once, were listening to Professor Flitwick who was demonstrating a rather tricky wand movement to the class.

It had been a few weeks since Hermione had overheard Severus and Samuel arguing in the Arithmancy classroom. Since then she had avoided both of them so as not to run the risk of Severus discovering she had been eavesdropping. Her plan seemed to be working better than expected due to the fact that Severus had adopted a similar tactic of ignoring her. Aside from calling her name on the register at the start of the lesson he didn't acknowledge her in anyway. Not even when she prevented Ron from adding lacewing flies before syrup of hellaboar but she was certain that he had heard her.

Of course there were various logical explanations for his behaviour. Explanation number one: Samuel was right and Severus is ignoring her because he's embarrassed. The second: Severus is trying to prove Samuel wrong because it isn't true.

Third reason: he is disgusted with the idea of me and himself that he feels like throwing up every single meal he's had in the last decade every time he looks at me.

Hermione couldn't help but wonder how she'd feel in response to each of these possible explanations but it just gave her a weird wriggling sensation in her stomach.

Hermione let out a small sigh of confusion which went unnoticed by her classmates.

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One evening, during the last week of October, brought the students a welcome distraction.

Professor Dumbledore rose from his seat to address everyone in the Great Hall, "As you all know this Tuesday is Halloween, however we will be celebrating a little differently this year. Instead of just having our usual feast, Hogwarts is hosting a fancy dress party."

This announcement started a series of excited discussions amongst the four house tables.

Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly to recapture their attention. "I expect everyone, including the staff, to attend in costume, preferably something that frightens you." Dumbledore settled back down in his seat, eyes twinkling but carefully adverted from the furious looking Severus on his right.

"Kill me, kill me now."

"Something wrong Severus?" asked Modesty smirking at him.

"I won't do it," he growled through clenched teeth.

"Unfortunately you don't have a say in the matter," chirped Professor McGonagall looking just as, if not more, amused as Modesty.

"What are you going as Minerva?" Severus raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I haven't decided," she answered coolly. "You?"

Severus looked around the Hall for inspiration. His eyes came to rest on Samuel who was looking back at him waiting for his reply. Suddenly their faces broke into identical evil smirks.

"_We_ are going as each other," said Samuel.

"It's supposed to be something your frightened of." Modesty rolled her eyes.

"It is. I'm frightened of being like him," muttered Severus.

"Hey!" protested Samuel.

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Hermione was standing next to her bed, adding the finishing touches to her costume.

It had taken her a great deal of time to think of a costume. It was common knowledge amongst the seventh years, thanks to the boggart, that one of her biggest fears was failure but how do you dress up as failure? Right so that wouldn't work. Well there is Voldemort but somehow it didn't seem a very good idea.

In the end she had settled on a pink, fluffy cardigan, a short, curly, mousey-brown wig with a black velvet bow. Hermione was going as Hogwarts most hated teacher, Professor Dolores Umbridge. She looked alarmingly like her except for the obvious height difference. She had even perfected the simpering, girly voice and trademark 'hem hem'.

She took one last critical look in the mirror before heading down to the common room to meet Harry and Ron.

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"Great galloping gargantuans. Fantastic costume Hermione," Seamus exclaimed as Harry, Ron and Hermione took their seats at the Gryffindor table.

"Thank you very much Mr Finnigan," in her excellent imitation of their old Professor which caused the surrounding figures to laugh. Professor Trelawney, on her way to the staff table, jumped as though hit by lightening and looked nervously around her before realising it was only Hermione dressed as Umbridge.

"Ouch. Ron!" cried Hermione as one of his fake, hairy legs caught her on the head.

"Sorry," he apologised.

Ron's biggest fear was of spiders, which is why he now sat next to her with a three extra sets of legs sticking out of his body.

"Hey look at Neville," laughed Ron.

Hermione glanced down the table and giggled when she saw Neville dressed in black robes and a long black wig. He was dressed as their Potions Master.

Harry pulled back the hood covering his face so he could see what was so amusing. This hood made it very difficult to see and as a result he had tripped several times on his way here. Harry was, of course, a dementor.

They continued to check out the other students' costumes as they ate.

Hermione watched someone with a green-tinged, skeletal face and floor length black hair walk by and sit at the Ravenclaw table. "So that's what a banshee looks like," she heard Dennis say to his brother Colin.

She glanced at the staff table at Severus who, unsurprisingly, had not complied with the rule about coming in costume and was throwing murderous looks in the direction of the Headmaster and her Head of House. What was surprising was that Samuel hadn't bothered to turn up in a costume either but sat in ultramarine coloured robes talking with an enormous amount of enthusiasm to Professor Sprout. Her Arithmancy Professor's lack of costume unnerved her. The idea of dressing up and joining in with the festivities seemed like his sort of thing. Hermione made a mental note to keep her eye on him. Further down the table Professor McGonagall was dressed as _Harry_? This is getting weird. She turned her attention to where Dumbledore sat wearing a costume that included long matted hair and a set of _prison robes_? Her jaw dropped in realisation.

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Samuel was happy. Very happy indeed. It took all his self-control not to smile, he was supposed to be his brother after all and smiling would give the whole thing away. Instead he pretended to glare at Minerva who, to his great delight, had turned up to the feast dressed as his brother's old enemy, James Potter. As if that wasn't good enough Albus was dressed as Sirius Black. Even better still, if you can believe, Dumbledore had also invited Professor Lupin who was wearing, oddly enough, a werewolf costume. He looked over at Severus and frowned. His brother was talking over enthusiastically, in his opinion, to Professor Sprout and doing a most ridiculous impression of him. 'Typical Sev, venting his feelings on his poor old brother,' thought Samuel. 'Never mind I know something that will cheer you up brother dear.' He smirked inwardly.

A.N. Sorry it took so long with the update but I've just started back at college and also a new job. I also had trouble thinking of a costume for Dumbledore to wear (what on Earth could ever frighten him?). I'd like to thank everyone on WIKTT misc. that gave me ideas. The idea of sending him as Severus was great but that would have made three people dressed like him. I particularly liked the suggestion of sending him as a milk carton with wanted poster with Blacks face on it. This is in fact what inspired me to send him as Sirius and Minerva as James. Not to mention one of the challenge requirements was to have Lupin and Sirius annoy Severus and since Sirius is dead this was the next best thing.


	6. Boxers With Snakes on Them

A.N Sorry it took so long for me to update. I do promise that the next chapter will be here soon. Oh and Severus says you must buy the new album by Gwen Steffani or else! What can I say the man has taste ;)!!!

The decorations in the Great Hall were the best Hogwarts had ever had. Hagrid's usual giant pumpkins lined the walls, as bats and streamers swam across the enchanted ceiling. Butterbeer flowed freely from a grinning skull on a refreshment table not far from the stage. Opposite the band, a haunted house, like the ones in a Muggle fairground, had been set up. While most of the students had congregated on the temporary dance floor Dumbledore had created, the seventh year Gryffindors had taken sets around the edge of the Hall. They were having an unusual conversation centred on muggle magicians.

"So the magician sawed this girl in half but she didn't die. She was still smiling away and moving around in the box," said Ron. "Then he just put her back together, how cool is that?"

"How?" asked Neville in amazement.

"No idea," shrugged Ron as he turned to Harry, Hermione and Dean who were all laughing at the purebloods bewilderment. "What?"

"Nothing really," replied Harry. "It's just odd. It's usually me asking you to explain about some wizard thing that is perfectly normal and boring to you."

"It makes a change to hear you talking about something as simple as magicians as though it were more amazing than anything you have learnt here during the past six years," giggled Hermione.

"Well I still wouldn't try it. Sounds like an awful lot of pain to me." Seamus blushed as the others burst out laughing again.

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Robes swirling slightly, he made his way to the chattering group in one corner of the Great Hall. None of them seemed to notice him as he hovered silently over them for a moment.

"Trick or treat," he sneered.

Immediately the conversation stopped as they turned to look at him. Ron opened his mouth to say something but before he could earn his month of detentions, Hermione kicked him hard on his right leg.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" he asked in his most dangerous voice.

"Treat," Hermione smacked herself mentally. 'What a stupid thing to blurt out in front of him of all people.'

"Pardon, Miss Granger?" he asked, looking at her as though daring her to repeat her answer.

"I said treat," she replied, returning his challenging expression.

His eyes flashed as he placed a hand on her upper arm and pulled her to her feet.

"50 points from Gryffindor and ..."

"Now, now Sev you did ask," Modesty admonished as she glided into Hermione's now empty chair.

Severus glowered.

Modesty rolled her eyes, "Always the same. After you get what you want you don't want it, grow up Sev."

"She has a point."

Hermione peered around Severuss shoulder into a pair of twinkling blue eyes, almost hidden behind his long black wig.

"Nice costume Headmaster but might I ask what in the world is so terrifying about a great bullying idiot like Black," came Severus' cold retort.

Hermione saw Harry stiffen in his seat visibly.

"Nothing but when you get to my age you will find there is very little in this world to be frightened of. I merely thought it would amuse you." As he gazed around the group Hermione could have sworn that he had winked at her. "Might I suggest a dance, I personally can think of no better treat."

It was no surprise that the Headmaster's suggestion was rewarded with a traditional glower from the Potions Master. However all were at a complete loss for word when he did in fact lead Hermione onto the dance floor.

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'What an Earth is he doing?' The real Severus watched as his brother led Hermione onto the dance floor. 'Bloody Dumbledore! I know they were all up to something.'

At first he suspected that it had something to do with Samuel's insane idea that he had a thing for Hermione but surely Dumbledore wouldn't ever support any sort of relationship between himself and Hermione. No it must be something else. One of Dumbledores 'amusing' jokes.

'After all I'm really not interested in the Potter brats little side-kick,' he thought. 'Even if I was it's not like she'd ever feel the same way. But it doesn't matter because I don't like her! I really could not care less!

His train of thought paused for a moment as he watched Hermione laugh at something his brother had said.

'Oh Merlin he made her laugh! She actually laughed at something she thinks I said! What did I say?'

'_You_ didn't say anything. Samuel did, she laughed at him because it's him she likes not you,' as soon as he thought this jealousy flared suddenly inside of him and his hand clenched tighter over the glass he was drinking out of.

'But she thinks it's me,' he thought defiantly.

'So? What are you going to do about it? I thought you didn't care?' he asked himself.

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'Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Why did I have to go and open my big mouth?' she thought frantically. 'I'm dancing with Professor Snape! He's actually really good. People are looking at us. So what, they're only jealous. Yeah right and I'm not deluded. Oh no what if he's using occulamency? He'll know everything I'm thinking.'

"Hermione I'd feel much better if you tried to look slightly less terrified at least while Professor McGonagall is giving me a look that clearly says one false move and you die."

Her Transfiguration Professor whose steely glare turned to an overly cheerful smile when she saw Hermione glance over at her.

Hermione tried to calm herself down and think about anything but her dance partner. It proved to be an impossible task as thoughts such as 'did he just call me Hermione?' entered her mind.

'I wonder how people would react if I just started kissing him ...'

'Dumbledore winked at me?'

'... or if I pinched his bum?'

'I wonder if he has boxers with snakes on them?' at this last thought she tried to resist the urge to giggle but failed miserable.

"May I ask what is so funny?"

'Oh no, what do I do now? If I don't answer he'll know anyway. Just don't look at his eyes.'

"Well I ... just erm ... nothing," stammered Hermione looking around the Hall.

Severus surveyed her through his dark eyes. "How did you know about my boxers?"

Hermiones head short round, looking horrified at her Professor. 'Fuckity, fuck, fuck.'

"How dare you ... I mean what? I wasn't thinking about ... you wear boxers with snakes on them?'

"A joke. Even you must be familiar with them," he smirked.

"Did you see everything I've been thinking?" she asked, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"I believe I saw enough," he replied.

Hermione gulped. "Enough for what?"

Suddenly the song ended and he immediately let go of her. "Good evening Miss Granger," he said, giving her another smirk that she didn't trust one bit.

He disappeared behind a crowd of students, who had begun dancing again as soon as the music started, leaving a very stunned Hermione alone on the dance floor.

A.N What is Samuel up to? Why did Dumbledore wink? What is Severus going to do next? Does the Potions Master really wear boxers with snakes on them? I'll let you know soon!


	7. Now we wait

A.N. I told you I'd post again soon!

Chapter 7

"What an Earth have you done?" Hermione hissed.

"Miss Granger?"

"I know this has something to do with you and I want to know what you and your brother are up to!" she demanded.

He was genuinely confused and slightly angry. "I really have no idea what you mean. Please tell me what it is my brother has done?"

Hermione looked sceptically at him for a moment before answering. "He used occlumency on me."

Severus looked mildly surprised but inside he was seething inside. 'How dare he? I swear I am going to kill him!'

"So what did you do?" she repeated.

"I had nothing to do with it," he replied truthfully. "Why would you think I did?"

Hermione hesitated for a moment. "Well a few weeks ago I...I erm heard you and your brother arguing in your classroom about...about me."

"Do you often eavesdrop on other peoples conversations?" he asked irritably, looking more like his usual self.

"Don't you dare try and move the blame in my direction, it's your stupid idea," she retorted.

"Well maybe it would help if you told me what Earth shattering information my brother found out," he suggested sarcastically.

"Oh you'd love that wouldn't you," she answered back.

Severus' curiosity overpowered his annoyance at her overhearing that particular conversation. "What did my brother find out?" he asked, again in a much more serious tone.

Unable to look at him she answered, "I was thinking about his...his..."

"Yes?"

"I was thinking about his boxers okay. As well as a few other thoughts I would have liked very much to keep to myself," she finished, blushing furiously.

"What? You...why?" he stuttered.

"It's because of you and your stupid plan to set us up. Ever since I heard the two of you talking I can't stop thinking about him." It took all of her self-control not to hex him to pieces.

He was stunned. Beyond stunned. He couldn't believe that Hermione Granger let alone anyone else had been thinking about him.

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked. "How can I go to lessons with him knowing that. I know he's up to something, you should have seen the way he looked at me."

"How did he look at you?" he asked, trying to keep his jealous feelings out of his voice.

"Like his birthday had come early and that he's going to do his best to make my life a living hell."

"Look try not to worry I'll sort it out," he told her.

"How?"

"Don't worry about that, just try to stay out of his way for now."

She nodded before making her way back into the sea of students.

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"So did it work?" she asked anxiously.

"Don't worry so much, this plan is as sweet as candy corn," he told her.

Modesty rolled her eyes, 'I've heard that before.'

"Excellent job Headmaster but if you don't mind me asking how did you find out about our little mission?" asked Samuel.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about," he responded airily.

Suddenly Modesty let out a small yelp. "Remus can you remove your tail from my persons as it's very uncomfortable."

"Look if you're up for a little kinky vampire sex with my sister could you please wait till I'm not here."

"Shut up Samuel," Modesty punched him painfully on the arm.

"Yes, please do Samuel. I think you're taking this matchmaking thing too far already," came the cold voice of the real Severus.

"I take it she told you?" he asked, unable to resist a grin.

"You have no right...."

"Time for the coronation," Dumbledore interrupted cheerfully making Samuel and Severus momentarily forget their discussion as he made his way onto the stage, leaving his fellow professors confused.

"What's he on about?" asked Modesty.

"Albus, Remus and I were having a little chat earlier and came up with a wonderful plan to crown two people the king and queen of the party. We want to make events like this a regular thing to try and keep up morale," Professor McGonagall informed them.

"If I could please have everyone's attention," Dumbledore addressed the Great Hall. "It is time to announce the king and queen and present them with their prize."

The students murmured excitedly waiting for the Headmaster to continue.

"Hogwarts first ever Halloween queen is non-other than...Hermione Granger."

There was a tremendous uproar of noise mostly from the Gryffindors. Hermione stood with her friends, unable to move. How many more shocks could she take today? Ginny pushed her forwards towards the stage where Dumbledore was happily smiling away as he waited for her to join him on the stage. After what felt like an eternity she was on the stage with her professor as he placed a crown on her head as the student clapped enthusiastically (well except for the Slytherins).

"Now for our king. I would like you all too please welcome Professor Severus Snape to the stage as we crown him our Halloween king."

The Hall went silent as they all turned to the person they believed to be their formidable Potions Master. Severus and Samuel were both uncharacteristically gaping at each other before Samuel started making his way towards the stage.

"Hang on, I'm very sorry I should have clarified," he said looking more amused than ever. "I meant the real Severus."

"Go on then," whispered Professor McGonagall giving him a nudge in the ribs. Severus didn't even notice. He just continued to stand where he was looking disbelievingly at Dumbledore until Professor McGonagall lost her patience and dragged him onto the stage. Everyone, including the Slytherins, couldn't help but laugh at what was happening to their Professor.

"Now we're all here I can present the two of you with your prize," Dumbledore continued to grin as he handed Hermione a large envelope. Hermione turned it over in her hands so she could read the writing on the front, "To Hermione and Severus, congratulations."

At Dumbledore's insistence she carefully peeped inside the envelope with Severus looking over her shoulder still incredibly shocked.

"Oh my God! Are you insane?" she screamed.

"You've gone to far this time old man," snarled Severus.

"Nonsense if the two of you would just..." began Dumbledore.

"Run while it's still possible," cried Severus as he grabbed hold of Hermione's hand and sprinted out of the Great Hall before anyone could stop them.

"Where are we going?" panted Hermione as they ran through one of the many dark, empty corridors of the castle.

"In here," he replied flinging open the door to an empty classroom. Once they were both inside he began setting up an assortment of spells to stop people from entering before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, completely out of breath.

"What now?" she asked biting her lip.

"Now we wait."

A.N. I'm so evil it's untrue hehe I'll let you know their prize very soon.


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